Okay, Bet… Peeing in Right Field
Updated: Jan 13
So I just wanted to share one of my most embarrassing stories.
Ok, when I was about 8 or 9 I was playing baseball for the Oakland Grizzles. On this particular day we were playing an evening game. Now I won't go in to to detail about all my stats that game, cuz you know boy was straight... Trash. Yes, I was absolute garbage at baseball, but my mama paid the fees so I was going to play.
So we had to have been in like the 2nd or 3rd inning and I was playing right field cuz no one ever hit to right field. Now I will say this I was good on defense I just couldn’t hit the ball for shit. I was a really good catcher but that’s not today's story.
So I was standing there and nothing was happening. I was just there not doing a damn thing and then suddenly I had the overwhelming urge to pee. But yet I'm still standing here
in a game…
in front of people…
who are watching me.…
I'm trying to hold it but I can't.
So I decided to just say fuck it and turn around and just pee. And I thought I could too cuz I didn't think anyone was watching me. As soon as I turn around, everyone starts calling my name
“Demetri! What are you doing? Turn around!”. So I turn around, but I still have to pee. THEN THAT'S WHEN DEVESTATION HIT.
I PEED ON MYSELF.
That's right I peed on myself standing in right field. There was nothing I could do about it. Now, this is where it gets embarrassing. I had to walk back to the dugout and walk past everyone. The crowd, the umpires, my teammates, the opposing team, people just passing by. I can't remember what happened when I walked back but what happened while I was walking back was my mama got me, put me in the car, and drove me home.
I thought that was the end. Nope. She told me to take a shower and change and she took me back to finish the game. Now I was going to always to remembered as the boy who pee‘d himself forever but the fact that I showed up clean as if it didn't happen to finish the game, now I felt shame. And I had only missed like an inning and a half so we still had like an hour left to play. And I did finish that game and I was garbage. And after the game I went I got my bag of orange slices and chips like everyone else and went home.
The moral of the story is, if you are stranded in right field in a little league baseball game, just run to the bathroom and pee, you weren't doing anything out there anyway.